The Girl’s That Don’t Belong in the Bookstore
It was a rainy day when I decided to go to the mall to hang out while the rain came down in sheets and flooded the streets. I stepped out of my mother’s car, bade her goodbye, and walked  through the automatic doors at the JC Penny’s entrance. I shook rain off my coat and dried off the bottom of my shoes.
I dawdled in the juniors section, slowly making my way to the exit that led out into the mall. Smells from the food court reached my nostrils and my stomach growled impatiently. I promptly left the store and grabbed myself  a cheeseburger and an iced coffee. I window shopped innocently, sipping my frozen latte, passing stores whose windows constantly bore posters of the Twilight variety. I rolled my eyes and scoffed at each poster, looking like a snoot to those who passed me by. Although this thought, rather than bothering me, made me laugh. In the end I ended up snorting coffee up my nose and quit laughing.
Once finished with my coffee, I threw the plastic cup in the garbage, thinking idly of recycling. I sped off to my favorite store, Borders. I walked inside, deeply annoyed by the Twilight posters and cardboard cut-outs that littered my store. I walked to the back and browsed the young adult section, trying to find books under the three ton pile of on sale Twilight books. I bent over and looked at the books on the bottom shelf. I found some interesting ones and, searching around for someone I may be bothering, I sat myself on the ground. I was flipping through them when a gaggle of teenage girls strutted into the shop.
Please don’t be Twilighters, please don’t be Twilighters. I was hoping against hope, but I still prayed that maybe they were actual readers.
Girly laughter hit the air. The laugh sounded out of place. The laugh that didn’t belong in a bookstore. Like a porn star at church. It just didn’t fit.
Damn. I kept my eyes on my book.
“Oh! Joyce, they’re over here!” A girl with pink bangles and blonde hair called out much too loud to her friend.
“Come on, guys!” The girl named Joyce signaled to her companions.
“Oh my God, they have the whole set of movie collectibles here! Let’s see, I’ve really wanted Rosalie’s pendant for a while now…” Blondie (I thought of the irony of my nickname for this girl) looked at the selection before her.
A girl gasped. Then giggled. “Sharon, Sharon! Look.” This brunette with a sparkly blue shirt and overdone eyes to match pointed to an Edward cardboard cut-out. “Okay, here’s my camera…” she pulled out a silver digital and turned it on, licking her glossed lips.
“Take my picture!” She posed next to the fake Edward. First she did a Hannah Montana pose, then one with her arm wrapped around him, another kissing his cardboard cheek, and the last one (for reasons funny only to them) a pelvic thrust to his cardboard body. The girls broke out in a fit of giggles and examined the pictures.
“These are so going on MySpace.”
The emo-looking girl of the group leafed through the supposed guide to the Twilight saga.
They were looking around, all of them now surrounding me, bumping into me ignorantly while they flipped to their favorite parts in the books. One of them backed up into a shelf and knocked over a Harry Potter book.
“Oh! Ha, hey, it’s like Harry Potter is bowing down to the Twilight books,” She smiled at her own cleverness. “I’ll just leave it down there, where it belongs,”
My cheeks burned red from anger. I was miffed, or chagrined, as Stephenie Meyer  would put it. I threw down the book I held in my hands, stood up, picking up the Harry Potter book as I went, and, once I returned to full height, I knocked the Twilight book down with the Harry Potter book I held in my hands.
“There,” I said. “Twilight in its proper place. The difference between what I did and what you did? Harry Potter was knocked down accidentally by a Mary-Sue wannabe. Twilight was knocked down purposely by Harry Potter, who actually fights his enemies.” I felt proud of my cheesy mini-speech, and smiled powerfully down at the pouting, wide-eyed girls.
The brunette who had taken the pictures next to the cut-out stepped forward. She smiled sweetly, stretching the orange layer of Maybelline she had over her face. “Why did you do that? Harry Potter fans should like Twilight, it’s just like, a fact.”
“Why should we?”
“Because, Robert Pattinson,” she argued stupidly. “he plays Edward in Twilight, but he also plays Cedric in Harry Potter.” She smiled triumphantly.
“So?” I creased my eyebrows, not getting the connection. “Is, that supposed to be a big deal, or something?” I swear, I felt a little part of my brain break off and just dissolve.
She looked a little angry, She opened her mouth to talk, fumbled with her words for a moment before I stopped her.
“Look,” I said, opening up my coat to reveal a shiny new badge. “On behalf of ‘Deviants Against Twilight’ I’m going to have to ask you to shut the fuck up.” She looked affronted. I smiled victoriously. After buying the books I had picked out, I walked out of the store, called my mom to come pick me up. I had to blog about this exciting experience to my “Deviants Against Twilight” friends. I’m sure we would all rally over my triumph. And laugh about those girls who just don’t belong in book stores.